Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Living the dream

The other day, I was thinking about how at each age, I've thought that's the best age, or that every year is my best year so far (with two exceptions: I remember that being 16 wasn't so great; also, when I was 27 or 28, I had a pretty rough time, with being unemployed, the whole disaster that was my experience with DDG––when I look back at it frankly––the gluten thing, and the broken ankle).

But for real, this stage of life is the one in which I feel most like my "real" self.

I had pretty much one of the best childhoods imaginable, but I can't say that I ever really felt secure. My parents did a great job, but a sense of security was certainly lacking, and I always had the sense that everything could change at any time. So that wasn't great.

I certainly wasn't convinced when people said high school would be the best years of my life. If I hadn't been so reserved around grownups, I probably would have scoffed out loud. It was fun, but so not "me."

College, too, was a lot of fun, but also certainly not the best years of my life. I worked SO much. My friends and I did tons of fun stuff (oh, demolition derby sledding, how I miss you), and I liked going to classes, but the work hours to pay for it all. Whew. By the time graduation came around, I was ready. But also, I just felt like I was more ready to be a "real grownup" by then. I definitely never was into the whole party scene of college, either.

Next chapter, grad school. Again, I liked the classes. I made a lot of good friends. I met Jeff. Lots of fun, lots of work.

Moving to Madison was nice, but being unemployed was, oh my goodness, probably the most challenging thing for me, with my personality and background and love-to-work attitude.

But now! Yay! I'm pretty much living the dream. Jeff and I get along great and are still waiting for those fabled newlywed fights to happen. We have a nice house. I've got the copyediting job that I've wanted since I was in middle school, at least. And these kids! I had never imagined, or I should say, never dreamed about, having kids really, but it's pretty much the best thing ever.

Some days, I'm like, "Oh. My. It's still four hours until Jeff gets home. I do not want to feed this baby or clean up the food under the kitchen table or change a diaper or help anyone use the toilet or hug anyone or or or..." Sometimes the millions of needs weigh on me, and the house is suffocating, and it's too cold to go out, or one of them is sleeping...

But usually, I love it. Usually, I want to spend all my time with these guys, and then it's still not enough. Usually I don't mind the millions of needs and the fact that everything is way harder to do with kids and takes so much longer (like, oh, just getting into the car in the first place).

Usually, I'm glad at the end of the day that it's over (because it's tiring!), but I'm also so sad that they're getting so much bigger and older already. And I'm sad that sometimes even all the hours in the day we spend together aren't enough. This, right now, is for sure the best time, and this is my best self––taking care of kids and hanging out with Jeff at home and working in my extra hours and sometimes managing to go running all by myself, in the beautiful, beautiful silence that makes all the noise even more beautiful, too.

"Everybody"

Who is "everybody," you ask?

Well, according to Matt, it's him, me, Jeff, and Sam. Every weekday, I say something like, "Okay, everybody needs to get ready and then we'll go." And Matt invariably says, "Not Dad! Dad's at work!" Or I'll say, "Everybody needs to eat lunch and take naps." And Matt will say, "Not Dad! Dad's at work. Not Mom! Mom work on 'puter when Matt's sleeping." Or maybe, like yesterday afternoon, when I said, "Everybody is a little fussy right now," and Matt said: "Not Matt! Matt's a lot fussy!"

And every time, I'm like, "Gah, I know. Not literally everybody."

I kind of feel like this sort of thing is my payback for being the same type of annoying little kid who always had to find verbal loopholes. But for now, it's pretty funny.

A post about Sam

It's hard to write about a baby when a hilarious toddler is telling jokes and making up funny games and pretend stories all the time. But nonetheless.

Sam is a delightful baby. He's pretty much delightful all the time. "Delightful" is really the best word for him. He cried twice last week, and I was extremely alarmed, because he hardly ever cries. Sometimes he cries a minute or two before going to sleep, but that's all.

He's pretty good at sitting up now. He sat for about an hour today, playing with toys, before falling over. He still rolls from back to front pretty much every time we put him down, but he forgot how to go from front to back, so he does a flailing move like he's swimming when he's on his belly.

Sam's kind of a cuddly baby lump. He doesn't seem like he's in a hurry to get moving, which is nice, because it's a lot easier to smooch a baby's face a thousand times a day when he's a calm baby. His personality seems very laidback.

His main activities right now are chewing on his Sophie giraffe and chewing on his washcloth and chewing on whatever toy Matt has put near him to play with. Also, he enjoys chewing on blankets.

Usually I do a lot of things to try to make Sam laugh (peekaboo and jumping and flying baby are his favorites right now), and when he starts laughing, Matthew announces, "Sam's laughing! Do it again!" or he demands, "Mom make Sam laugh! Keep doing it!"

So that's what Sam's been up to lately.

Turtle Mom

The main activity in our house right now is pretending. We pretend a lot of things. If Matt's favorite clothes are in the laundry, he pretends he's wearing them over the clothes he's actually wearing. If Matt's playing pretend kitchen, he gives Sam pretend teeth to eat the pretend food he cooks for him. We sit in pretend heavy machinery. Matt has two pretend babies that he takes care of when I'm taking care of Sam.

But the funniest things are Turtle Mom, Dad Rabbit, Sam Goat, and Matt Sheep. Turtle Mom has been doing ALL the work around here lately. She's been feeding and changing and putting the two pretend babies in the crib when I do those things for Sam. She's been helping me clean the blinds. She's been eating my food and drinking my water and reading my book and taking a shower in my bathroom. Sam Goat and Matt Sheep are pretty lazy, but sometimes Dad Rabbit also changes the pretend babies' diapers.

It's pretty funny all the time.

"Had to go in trash"

Another classic Mattoddler joke.

Something about the phrases "all gone now" and "can't see it" make Matthew say, "Had to go in trash."

The original scenario probably went something like this:
Me: "You don't have that toy anymore because it broke. It's gone now."
Matt: "Had to go in trash."

Or maybe this:
Me: "No more oatmeal. You didn't finish eating it, and now it's gone."
Matt: "Can't see it. Had to go in trash."

And that led to Matthew's jokes...

Me: "We can't see the sun anymore because it's almost nighttime."
Matt: "All gone. Had to go in trash!"

Me: "Well, silly guy, you can't see Sam because he's on the blanket behind that box."
Matt: "Can't see him. Had to go in trash!"

Matt: looking outside where we saw birds earlier - "No more birds out here. Had to go in trash!"

"Not just" and "That's silly"

Some of Matt's new things to say are "Not just..." and "That's silly" (also, "That would be silly").

For example:
"Not just cof. Not just fee. Coffee!"
"Not just pu. Not just zul. Puzzle!"
"Not just under. Not just wear. Underwear!"

You get the point.

Usually I wear pajama pants in the house. I sometimes call them my "house pants." One day when we got home from an errand, Matt said, "Mom wear house pants. Not just house! That would be silly!" Then he probably ROFL'd. His jokes crack him up.

If Sam tries to chew on something, "That's silly!" If something unexpected falls on the floor, "That's silly!" If Matt's pretending to be driving an excavator, that's not silly, but if I ask him if he's sitting in his carseat in the excavator, "That's silly!"

If I say Sam can't do puzzles with us because he'd probably try to chew the puzzle pieces, Matt says, "That would be silly!" If I say, "No, no, Sam, that's not for chewing," Matt will say, "Mom says, 'No, no, that's not for chewing!' but Matt says, 'Yes, yes, that's for chewing!' and that's silly!!"

Speaking of silly, Matt recently brought back one of his first-ever jokes. When he was about one and a half, he called my tie-dye shirt a "hair tie" by accident. Then he realized what he said and laughed hysterically. The other day, he grabbed my hair tie and said, "Here's Mom's tie-dye shirt!" Hee hee hee. Jokester for life.