Secret beauty regimen

I read a lot of blogs, and it seems like a popular topic is to discuss different face/hair/makeup tips and tricks. And I'm sure you're all dying to know how I manage to stay so beautiful and fresh-faced day after day. So I'll tell you here, recorded for posterity.

Okay, if you're done snickering now, keep reading.

1. Shampoo hair with whatever was last on sale. Currently, I think, Dove.
2. Condition hair with whatever was last on sale. Or use leftovers from hotel.
3. Pay special attention to skin. Must use something moisturizing, but light, but also aromatic. Or, just grab Kroger-brand body wash.
4. After shower, brush hair straight back and air dry. Once dry, put in ponytail.
5. If it's winter, put lotion on face. Just regular body lotion, nothing fancy.
6. Makeup: Nope. Skip it! This will save you like eleven billion steps later on when you don't have to wash it off.
7. At night, splash water on face and dry with hand towel. This step is optional.

That's it!