Day three of gluten-free

Today is my third day of my attempt to not be sick anymore! I have high hopes. I've had stomach problems off and on since the summer of 2007, and I just don't want to be sick for the rest of my life.

It happened suddenly. Jeff was co-oping in Birmingham for the summer, and we went to eat at Pizza Hut. On the way to his apartment, I was suddenly and violently ill. And then all kinds of things started making me instantly sick––oatmeal, tomatoes, coffee, corn, carrots, spaghetti––things that apparently have nothing in common. I tracked every single thing I ate from December 2007 to August 2008 (if that kind of tedium doesn't show a commitment to figuring out what's wrong so it can be fixed, I don't know what would). There weren't really any patterns, though. Some things that always made me sick would suddenly not make me sick anymore.  

Armed with all this info, I thought I'd be able to show a doctor that there was definitely a problem. The first one I saw didn't listen to the info, wouldn't refer me to a specialist, and wrote me a prescription for some sort of extra-strength Imodium. (Which I didn't take. It seems like a terrible idea to blindly treat the symptoms in this case.) I barely remember the next doctor's visit, though I think he or she said it was "probably just stress." Finally, in Huntsville, I saw a gastroenterologist, who did a colonoscopy and pretty much pronounced, "There's nothing wrong with you! Eat more fiber!"

But, of course, there is something wrong. It goes in cycles where I'll feel fine for a while and then I'll be really really sick almost every day for a while. I felt like I was cured when I went to the chiropractor regularly, though he said adjustments weren't likely to affect my digestion. (I saw a very strong correlation, though. I'm guessing he's just not allowed to make claims like that.) And during pregnancy, I felt like a normal person, my stomach barely ever hurting.

Every time I'm in the part of the cycle where I feel more sick than not, I think, "Man, there has got to be something I can do." Someone mentioned quitting wheat products and anything containing gluten, and I considered it for a while, maybe a month. I kept thinking in circles about it. Plus with the broken ankle and not being able to do the grocery shopping, it kind of seemed impossible.

I had a lot of uncertainty about it. I kept thinking:

• It's going to be too difficult.
• It's really easy to be lazy. And that means making all the same things we've always eaten.
• I don't want to be "that person" who needs to not eat certain things.

But then I also kept thinking:

• It's difficult already! It's hard to be so worried all the time about not being able to go places if I don't know the locations of bathrooms. I almost never will ride in a car with someone other than Jeff or immediate family.
• I don't love any of the things we've always eaten. I could easily give up pretty much any supper we eat (breakfast and lunch foods seem easy still––eggs, salad, tuna).
• I don't want to be "that person" who doesn't do things because I'm nervous.

Then I was driving by a park in town where kids were playing organized soccer, and I thought, "If I'm still having these problems when Matt's older, I'm not going to be able to drive his friends to stuff. I'm not going to be able to watch sports all day if the bathrooms are a long walk from the fields."

I read something online that said, "If you're sick but you get used to living with it, are you still sick?" I thought yes. And it said, "If you don't know you're sick, would you seek a cure?" I thought I would like to seek a cure for better health even if I'm not sick so much as used to a lifestyle that includes sickness.

It also drives me crazy when people complain about some problem in their lives, usually physical, to which there is a clear solution, like, you know, eating healthier and exercising more to lose weight, or exercising regularly to improve symptoms of arthritis, or sleeping/resting more to not be constantly tired. After reading about people who've seen dramatic improvements in digestive health after quitting gluten, I realized that for me, not at least giving it a try would be doing the same thing––talk, talk, talking about it but not taking action.

Though as a side note, I have to say that eating less and exercising more has not been the key to weight loss for me this year. I eat a reasonable amount and was working out at least 5 days a week for months, minus the hernia and ankle surgery repair time periods, and I've still got about 10 pounds to lose.

The other thing is that I actually know people who haven't eaten anything with gluten in it for years, and they say they feel great. It's convincing to know it's not just a fad––it's an easily sustainable menu of foods. Finally, and most convincing to me, is that people who haven't eaten gluten in a while and then do eat it, even a little, say they get really sick from it. I can't help but think how unnatural and scary that is––what IS it, that it can make people so sick in small doses after they've "recovered" from it? What else would do that?

Of course, there's no guarantee that quitting gluten-containing foods will help my particular stomach problem. I'll give it three months and then decide. But there's still that chance!

After three days, I've been able to eat salad and raw carrots without incident, which is kind of a big deal. I love carrots so very much and haven't been able to eat them in years. If quitting traditional bread products is the trade-off for being able to eat delicious raw vegetables again, that's no hardship at all.

What are your experiences with not eating gluten? What are your delicious recipes? (We've had a rice-and-vegetable casserole, pot roast, and spaghetti squash (which tastes uncannily like noodles) so far.) What's your encouragement so I can read it when I'm really craving Little Debbie snack cakes?

Stereotypes for the election year

Usually when I meet someone and the conversation turns to politics, people assume I'm a Democrat, or at least liberal. Even people I've known well for years often think this, now that I think back on past conversations. But why?

I'm an evangelical Christian housewife who lives in Alabama.

I'd think those labels alone would make a person think I'm a Republican, or at least conservative. Must be that I'm just not a victim of stereotyping in this area.

But what is it that makes people think I lean left, anyway? The topic has come up too many times for it to just be coincidence, I would think.

Chatty Matty

I've been meaning to write this post for months. Mattoddler (as Jeff once called him) knows a bunch of words. He can't say many things, but he has known the meanings to what we consider an alarming number of words for a month or two now.

Airplane! Matt started making his airplane sign in April, mainly when he was starting to walk better and Donna took him for walks around the block. He also learned "kitty" a long time ago and would go find a stuffed kitty in our house if we said it.

Then came the food words. Of course he would learn these! If I say, "Do you want a snack?" or "Are you hungry?" or "Time for lunch!" Matt runs to the fridge and tries to open the door. One of my favorites is to tell him to get a banana; he can grab them off our low counter and bring them to the table.

Another one of his earlier words to understand was "carrier." He loves to grab the baby carrier from under the end table and drag it over to Jeff to signal he wants to go for a walk. That led into Matthew also taking Jeff's shoes to him since every time he had the carrier, he also put his shoes on.

We were amazed at all the things Matt could understand a while ago, then it seems like one day he learned about fifty words at once. He knows balloon, truck, teddy bear, boot, crutches, ball, spatula, fork, laundry basket... it seems like most things now he can learn the word once we say it a couple times.

But Chatty Matty isn't chatting with words very much yet. He says "boo" for boot (the one on my ankle, sadly), "bir" for bird, "nana" for banana (though not very often), "beep beep" for truck, "uhn-uh" for airplane, and "tuh" for out or outside. He said "cat" one time when we saw one outside, but I haven't heard that since.

I'm not in a rush for Matthew to start really talking since he'll probably never shut up, but it IS pretty exciting to see him learning so much so fast!

Staples!

Five days after surgery.

Hard times

Yesterday and today have been some of the hardest days I can remember. On Sunday, we got home around 7 p.m. Our house was really hot because we turned the air conditioner warmer while we were gone (like 100+ degrees hot), even though it was running when we walked in the door. So Matt didn't fall asleep until 9 p.m. instead of his usual 6:30-7 p.m.

So yesterday he was exhausted since he wakes up around 6 a.m. no matter what time he goes to bed. The first part of the day was okay. Jeff always does everything in the morning before he goes to work, which is the best thing ever. I was on my own with Matthew in the morning then one of my friends drove me to the doctor and another friend watched Matt at the house.

My ankle is looking great, apparently. The nurse was incredulous that I had surgery so recently due to the level of swelling; she kept asking me if I was sure of the surgery date. The doctor agreed that it looks great. They took the huge scary metal staples out, x-rayed it, said not to put any weight on it for four weeks and keep icing and elevating, and sent me to make a physical therapy appointment.

Back home, Matt ate lunch and took a nap. I was so, so tired when he was sleeping, but there are so many things to do. I also hate napping because I usually feel a lot worse when I wake up. So I called about some bills because the hospital didn't apply our insurance, accepted an editing assignment, replied to a million emails, then lounged on the couch for a few minutes. My ankle was hurting more than usual since I don't want to take painkillers while I'm the only adult here, and I just felt sick, sick, sick. And hungry, but with no appetite.

Then Matthew woke up. He was okay for maybe an hour. Around 2:30, he started fussing and crying nonstop. I knew he wouldn't nap again, but I also couldn't distract him with books, food, toys, cuddles, anything. He was just so exhausted. Jeff came home around 4:30, about half an hour into my and Matthew's "laying on the livingroom floor and crying" jag. Normally, we'd go outside and play or go for a walk, but I just can't do that right now. It's not possible.

When Jeff got home, I took some painkillers, propped my foot up on the couch, and slept for an hour. It was ridiculous, considering I rarely nap, especially in the evening. Jeff took care of Matthew until he went to bed at 6 p.m. I had high hopes that today would be easier since Matt was catching up on sleep again. Tiredness is the thing that makes him most unhappy for sure.

This morning when I woke up, I could barely stand the thought of getting out of bed. I just kept crying and crying. I had a headache and felt vaguely sick. I made it to the couch and then thought I'd never be able to move again. I really wanted Jeff to be able to go to work since he's had to take so many days off already, but it was a big relief when he said he would stay home. I got back in bed at 8 and didn't wake up until 11. Also ridiculous. I rarely sleep 3 hours at a stretch even at night, just because I'm bad at sleeping.

I ate a couple bites for lunch then told Jeff he could go to work for the rest of the day. I still feel kind of awful, but I just can't stand to be such a liability around here, not being able to do anything. But I also just feel so bad physically that I don't know how we'll make it through the afternoon. I need to do my crying while the baby is sleeping and somehow try to make it through.

The worst thing is that I'm just so tired, and I can't do anything, and, really, I just feel like this is the hardest time I can remember. I need for someone else to be in charge, but there is no one else. I know it's a situation where we just need to wait for time to pass and know that God is in control, but right now it seems so unmanageable and impossible.

Terrible, horrible doctor's visit...

...for me. Not for Matt. He was fine.

Toddler Matthew, formerly known as Baby Matthew, had his one-year checkup and immunizations today. I didn't anticipate it being too bad, since he's barely cried at getting his other shots, and I've also felt surprisingly not too bad through them.

The visit started out fine. Matt weighed in at a tiny 21.5 pounds. He was 17 pounds at 5 months! I guess it's the fact that he's pretty much running every minute of every day. I think he went from 75th percentile in weight to about 10th. His head size has evened out with his height and weight; before it was way bigger. He's pretty tall compared to other kids his age, I think still about 75th percentile for that. The doctor said he looks great. His development is excellent, still way ahead for his age. I always have to circle yes or no on a list of skills for what he can already do, and he can do everything on the 12- to 24-month sheet except for "speaking x number of words" (different questions start at 2 words, 3 words, etc, up to 6 words).

Then it was time for shots! Yay! First, the nurse had to draw blood from Matt's finger while I was holding him on my lap. I was explaining that I sometimes feel faint around needles, so she might need to get another nurse to hold him down for the actual shots. For those, he has to lay on the table instead of being held. So, anyway, the finger prick was fine. Matthew just watched the nurse stick him and looked at the blood with interest. I was watching his face, and he didn't seem affected at all other than looking curious at what was going on. I glanced at his finger, and it was bleeding kind of a lot. But not a big deal. I told the nurse I was feeling fine after all, but I'd still prefer if she got someone else to hold him down on the table. She left the room.

Matt looked around, looked at his bandaged finger, held his hand right up in my face and waved it around, smiling, and yanked off the two Band-Aids! Blood everywhere! Matthew giggled. And then waved his bleeding finger right in my face, with the super-bloody cotton-balled Band-Aid hanging half off of it. I instantly broke out in a cold sweat and started getting that blurry-on-the-edges vision that precedes passing out. I kept thinking, "Don't drop him. Don't drop him. Don't pass out. They'll be right back." I tried to put the Band-Aids back on, but Matthew kept ripping them back off. Such a fun game, right, Mom? At least he found it hilarious.

Finally, the nurses got back. One of them immediately took Matthew from me, and the other one helped me up and took me out of the room and started putting wet paper towels on me. And this was before I even said anything! My face is such a traitor. I tried to tell them I was fine, but they pretty much forced me to stay in this other room. I think I'd said about a hundred sentences in two minutes, and I'm pretty sure I wasn't making any sense.

Then Matt got his shots, and I went back in when I heard him crying. He cried about 15 seconds and even smiled at the nurses and made some happy babbling noises at them before we left. No hard feelings.

Who's the baby around here now?

One!

Happy birthday, little ball of energy (aka Matthew)! A year ago at this moment, I was wondering if this baby would ever be born! And then he was, 30 minutes from now. And suddenly we had a baby! Yay!

Usually on birthdays, I think people write sappy letters about how great the past year was or how much their lives have changed for the better or how things will never be the same, and the original birthday was the best day of their lives, blah blah blah... But I'm not feeling very reflective, and it's pretty obvious how we feel about Chatty Matty, and all those letters end up sounding the same anyway, so...

I'm going to write about some of the stuff that was so helpful to us getting through the first year. And by first year, I primarily mean the first couple of months.

Fisher-Price Rock 'n Play Sleeper: Matt slept in this next to our bed for about 3 months, maybe 4. He also lounged around in it a lot when we were eating supper or watching tv and he was napping or just looking around. It was great to be able to ferry him around the house in it when he was asleep. Also great that I could just lean out of bed to look at his little face in the middle of the night and make sure he was still breathing. Ha ha.

SO worth the $50, even though its useful life wasn't that long, timewise. We bought this from Kohl's with a gift card from all my coworkers at Origin Technologies. (Side note: This is a game I like to play, to feel thankful for things and people: "Oh, now I'm going to use the Chris Hightower tea kettle to heat some water. Then I'm going to use the Christa Slaton vacuum cleaner. Matthew's wearing the Stephenie Walker reindeer outfit now, but he'll need to change into the Debbie Schott sleepsack later.")

Boppy: Matthew and I used the Boppy every single day for 11.5 months for breastfeeding, except when we were on vacation. Talk about indispensable. When he was tiny, it wasn't so great because I'm all tall and stuff, but after the first two months or so, so convenient. He also took some naps in it and had fun crawling over it when he first started crawling. Thanks for this, Lisa!

Philips Avent Manual Breast Pump: Also a great help in the early days. I got to leave the house by myself sometimes! Very easy to use and clean. Great for easing my oversupply discomfort when Matthew started sleeping 7- to 9-hour stretches at 2.5 months old.

 

Receiving blankets: Great for swaddling, spit-up, warmth, fun... Still keep one in the diaper bag now to use for messes or as a towel, since Matt goes full speed ahead into any source of water he sees. We have 4 (from the Burn City Rollers!) but could have used about 10 in the early days.

Cloth diapers: I am pretty much lazy and hate shopping. Also, I dislike spending money. Voila! Cloth diapers! No need to leave the house for more diapers. No worries about getting low on them and needing to run to the store. Cheap! Contrary to many people's claims that the cost of washing more loads of laundry with cloth diapers outweighs or equals the cost of buying diapers, our utility bills have not increased at all in the past year. So, cheap and convenient. (Diaper sprayer is nice, too, but wouldn't be quite as hard to live without.)

I think that's about it for my most useful baby things list. Some other stuff we use a lot are a hand-me-down stroller, Infantino baby carrier, changing pad, and high chair, but I'd probably rank them on a secondary list. What's been your most used and most useful baby items?