I don't want to slow down! I don't want to take water breaks! I don't want to catch my breath! I just want to hit some girls, make some walls, break some walls, fall too hard, skate faster, hit harder, skate more, give whips, race the pack, and do it all again - harder - when I'm too tired to breathe -
But I'll listen to strategy, hit 50%, do some committee work, stay in my position, and wait for that one scrimmage that makes it all worth it.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Drama, drama, drama
"Of course there's going to be drama - what do you expect when you have a bunch of women hanging out together?" That's a sentiment I've heard wherever rollergirls convene - and one I don't altogether agree with.
First, let's throw out the gender factor. Anywhere you have more than one person, you have possibility for conflict. Benjamin Franklin said, "Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." I say, "Two will agree perfectly if one of them is dead." Not as catchy, but you know what I mean.
Second, almost every rollergirl I know thinks of her team as her second family, her derby sisters. (And if she doesn't, she probably just joined!) And almost every rollergirl I know says that sometimes there's just too much drama in derby.
Both of those may be true. And maybe it's because we think of each other as family that we feel comfortable enough to speak up and try to shape our leagues and persuade our teammates with our own ideas.
Mignon McLaughlin wrote, "Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back" (The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960).
And, to me, that pretty much sums it up for family, derby, drama, and how in the end, the combination of them all are okay.
First, let's throw out the gender factor. Anywhere you have more than one person, you have possibility for conflict. Benjamin Franklin said, "Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead." I say, "Two will agree perfectly if one of them is dead." Not as catchy, but you know what I mean.
Second, almost every rollergirl I know thinks of her team as her second family, her derby sisters. (And if she doesn't, she probably just joined!) And almost every rollergirl I know says that sometimes there's just too much drama in derby.
Both of those may be true. And maybe it's because we think of each other as family that we feel comfortable enough to speak up and try to shape our leagues and persuade our teammates with our own ideas.
Mignon McLaughlin wrote, "Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back" (The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960).
And, to me, that pretty much sums it up for family, derby, drama, and how in the end, the combination of them all are okay.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Having the personality for it
In another life, when I was teaching freshman composition during grad school, I totally lost my composure during a student conference. This one girl was struggling to understand how a person could write from different perspectives. I encouraged her to think about the different aspects of people's lives - how a person can be a student and a musician and a daughter and a Christian and a sandwich shop employee and a whatever - and to write from one of those perspectives. This girl is particularly gregarious and was a ringleader in the class, but she still seemed to be stuck writing only with the voice of a stereotypical freshman comp student - declarative sentences, unimaginative vocabulary, 3 to 5 sentences per paragraph.
I said, "Imagine I'm writing, and I want to describe, say, people trying to play pool at Quixote's after having too many shots of tequila." She kind of looked at me funny. I said, "Well, what's one perspective I could take on that?" (I'm thinking, "I could write from the perspective of a sober person sitting at the bar, as the bartender, as one of the drunk pool players, as a girl trying to have a heart-to-heart that keeps getting interrupted by the pool players' loud outbursts.)
My student said, "Uhh, umm, hmm. I don't know. I guess you would take the perspective that research shows that people get uncoordinated when they're drinking and that all these statistics show you should only have a certain amount of alcohol per day. You know - you would write like a teacher. I guess you would probably have to interview some students so you could know what it's like to go to a bar."
And that's when I lost it. I may have laughed until I cried. (Very professional.) This girl apparently thought I was only and always a teacher, and I was less than 3 years older than her! I asked her straight out, "So you think I just stay in this building and think of terrible grammar assignments and grade?" And then suddenly she understood.
This happens all the time in roller derby. I would like to meet a derby girl who tells people she plays roller derby and routinely gets the response, "Oh, that sounds just like you!" or "How fitting!"
My mom recently forwarded me an email from our old pastor's wife: "WOW ... Maria... who'd have thought that quiet little Brigitte would be a roller derby girl!!! I wouldn't have. She just didn't seem to have the personality for it." Every time I read that, I just snicker a little on the inside.
What is the personality for it? What kind of intensity do you hold inside? What kind of resolve? Are you on the track because you're an athlete, because you're stressed, because it's your only thing just for yourself, because all your friends are doing it, because you refuse to get older?
How funny it is that we think we know people even though we know only a few things about one or two facets of their personalities! How funny it is to think about all the ways in which others don't know us at all!
And that's the beautiful thing about it. A bunch of girls who have wildly different lives have somehow found each other and formed hundreds of leagues throughout the world. And suddenly we have something athletic and stress-relieving and important and fun and just for ourselves, and all those differences aren't that important.
And then we can have a good laugh weeks or months later, remembering our underestimating or just wrong first impressions of each other. And then we can get out there and hit some girls!
I said, "Imagine I'm writing, and I want to describe, say, people trying to play pool at Quixote's after having too many shots of tequila." She kind of looked at me funny. I said, "Well, what's one perspective I could take on that?" (I'm thinking, "I could write from the perspective of a sober person sitting at the bar, as the bartender, as one of the drunk pool players, as a girl trying to have a heart-to-heart that keeps getting interrupted by the pool players' loud outbursts.)
My student said, "Uhh, umm, hmm. I don't know. I guess you would take the perspective that research shows that people get uncoordinated when they're drinking and that all these statistics show you should only have a certain amount of alcohol per day. You know - you would write like a teacher. I guess you would probably have to interview some students so you could know what it's like to go to a bar."
And that's when I lost it. I may have laughed until I cried. (Very professional.) This girl apparently thought I was only and always a teacher, and I was less than 3 years older than her! I asked her straight out, "So you think I just stay in this building and think of terrible grammar assignments and grade?" And then suddenly she understood.
This happens all the time in roller derby. I would like to meet a derby girl who tells people she plays roller derby and routinely gets the response, "Oh, that sounds just like you!" or "How fitting!"
My mom recently forwarded me an email from our old pastor's wife: "WOW ... Maria... who'd have thought that quiet little Brigitte would be a roller derby girl!!! I wouldn't have. She just didn't seem to have the personality for it." Every time I read that, I just snicker a little on the inside.
What is the personality for it? What kind of intensity do you hold inside? What kind of resolve? Are you on the track because you're an athlete, because you're stressed, because it's your only thing just for yourself, because all your friends are doing it, because you refuse to get older?
How funny it is that we think we know people even though we know only a few things about one or two facets of their personalities! How funny it is to think about all the ways in which others don't know us at all!
And that's the beautiful thing about it. A bunch of girls who have wildly different lives have somehow found each other and formed hundreds of leagues throughout the world. And suddenly we have something athletic and stress-relieving and important and fun and just for ourselves, and all those differences aren't that important.
And then we can have a good laugh weeks or months later, remembering our underestimating or just wrong first impressions of each other. And then we can get out there and hit some girls!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Crash and Burn
Every roller girl knows how it feels to be coursing with adrenaline, counting the hours till practice, calculating the hours since you last skated, fantasizing about new equipment or hip checks or what it would be like if you could derby-fy your real life activities. It's a love affair, it's an obsession, it's a major part of a life.
And then there's burnout. Aka "the meh." It's the complete opposite of that feeling you get after dominating a hard workout, conquering a new skill, or bonding with a teammate. It's that feeling of too many nagging injuries, too much derby committee work, or too much time away from home or other activities.
That's what I'm feeling now. I desperately love roller derby. I desperately never want to go back to practice, ever. It doesn't matter how much I love my team or the sport or the workout - right now I can't bear to think about tying up my skates, putting on my always-bruising-my-hands wrist guards, or looking at my off-rink league workload. (But, I also know that as soon as my strained leg muscle heals and I get some new wrist guards, I'll be back at it as though my feelings never were lukewarm.)
When have you crashed and burned, and how did you get back into it?
And then there's burnout. Aka "the meh." It's the complete opposite of that feeling you get after dominating a hard workout, conquering a new skill, or bonding with a teammate. It's that feeling of too many nagging injuries, too much derby committee work, or too much time away from home or other activities.
That's what I'm feeling now. I desperately love roller derby. I desperately never want to go back to practice, ever. It doesn't matter how much I love my team or the sport or the workout - right now I can't bear to think about tying up my skates, putting on my always-bruising-my-hands wrist guards, or looking at my off-rink league workload. (But, I also know that as soon as my strained leg muscle heals and I get some new wrist guards, I'll be back at it as though my feelings never were lukewarm.)
When have you crashed and burned, and how did you get back into it?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Remembering the thrill
Last weekend, the Dixie Derby Girls traveled to Biloxi to bout the Mississippi Rollergirls. The first half, we played as though we had never practiced together or as though we had all just woken up from long naps in the sunshine. We were sluggish and ineffective. (Since this is my blog, now I'm going to talk about myself - talk about yourself in the comment section!)
I was playing inside, which is a position I had not yet played in a game. All I could think was, "Okay, the coaches said to stay right here and do this one thing for our strategy." At the same time, I was thinking, "Should I hit their jammer? No, I should just keep skating in the place that I'm 'assigned' to. Oh, there goes the jammer. Should I try to hit her next time around? Hmm."
At half time, after a rousing pep talk, I asked our fearless captain, Snidely Bitchslap, what I should do: try to stay in my "spot" or try to hit people. She said something inspiring like, "Just do what you think is best." That sounds sarcastic in type, but for real, it made everything come together for me. I know the basics of roller derby - it was time to stop thinking so much and start playing!
Why is it we get so bogged down with small things and forget the bigger picture? For me this was thinking about strategy instead of using common sense and implementing that strategy. For newer girls, it might be getting tripped up by a particular skill and getting discouraged instead of realizing it's only a small part of the game. Or it's getting angry instead of figuring out how to get better.
The second half was truly a triumph of teamwork. Every girl played harder, smarter, and more together. I stopped thinking and started hitting. (I haven't been so sore since playing rugby in college!) The game came down to the last couple jams, and our team really pulled it together. The win was exhilarating, but even better was knowing how well we worked together to make it happen. And we'll do it again this weekend.
I was playing inside, which is a position I had not yet played in a game. All I could think was, "Okay, the coaches said to stay right here and do this one thing for our strategy." At the same time, I was thinking, "Should I hit their jammer? No, I should just keep skating in the place that I'm 'assigned' to. Oh, there goes the jammer. Should I try to hit her next time around? Hmm."
At half time, after a rousing pep talk, I asked our fearless captain, Snidely Bitchslap, what I should do: try to stay in my "spot" or try to hit people. She said something inspiring like, "Just do what you think is best." That sounds sarcastic in type, but for real, it made everything come together for me. I know the basics of roller derby - it was time to stop thinking so much and start playing!
Why is it we get so bogged down with small things and forget the bigger picture? For me this was thinking about strategy instead of using common sense and implementing that strategy. For newer girls, it might be getting tripped up by a particular skill and getting discouraged instead of realizing it's only a small part of the game. Or it's getting angry instead of figuring out how to get better.
The second half was truly a triumph of teamwork. Every girl played harder, smarter, and more together. I stopped thinking and started hitting. (I haven't been so sore since playing rugby in college!) The game came down to the last couple jams, and our team really pulled it together. The win was exhilarating, but even better was knowing how well we worked together to make it happen. And we'll do it again this weekend.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Tights and tutus
Fishnets. Tutus. Belts. Socks. Laces. Tights. Skirts. An integral part of roller derby is the style that goes with it. Rollergirls adorn themselves with any assortment of accessories - bright, muted, matching, clashing, frilly, sleek, vintage, athletic - depending on their mood, their personality, and their budget.
The media makes much of roller derby aesthetics, and many skaters talk about how their outfits make them feel empowered, fun, feminine, boisterous, etc. Conversely, roller derby style also sometimes leads people less familiar with modern roller derby to think it's less athletic just because its participants have more "wardrobe freedom" than in other sports. After one bout, however, it's apparent that the apparel has nothing to do with the athleticism.
Roller derby fashion is also often practical - getting a run in your tights during a fall is better than getting your skin torn open, taking a whip by grabbing a teammate's belt is often easier than grabbing her hips, and wearing high socks can make those kicks to the shin less painful.
Although everyone has her own style, and theirs wouldn't work for me, I'm envious of how good some girls look all the time. My favorites are Babe E. Quakes, Therapissed, Lucy Ferocious, eRacer X, Grim Gracey, and 9 Lb Hammer. I'm a huge fan of tutus, belts, and matching booty shorts with tights, when other people are wearing them.
Although I'm never going to be completely coordinated or strive for ultimate cuteness, I have a history of "dressing derby" even before I'd ever heard of roller derby. These pictures are from my second marathon - I had observed that runners who stood out from the crowd got a lot more cheers, and since none of my family could be there to cheer me on, I was appealing to the crowd with my cloud-pattern tights. (Kind of like derby!)
During the summers, I amused my volleyball team by wearing random outfits to our games. My favorite is the bathing-suit-top/my-brother's-gigantic-shorts combo.
I can't say that my derby outfits or my previous sports' outfits made me feel any more tough, feminine, or empowered, but I thought they were funny!
So, rollergirls, what's your style and why? How does it make you feel? (There's an English teacher statement.)
Fans, what's your favorite style?
The media makes much of roller derby aesthetics, and many skaters talk about how their outfits make them feel empowered, fun, feminine, boisterous, etc. Conversely, roller derby style also sometimes leads people less familiar with modern roller derby to think it's less athletic just because its participants have more "wardrobe freedom" than in other sports. After one bout, however, it's apparent that the apparel has nothing to do with the athleticism.
Roller derby fashion is also often practical - getting a run in your tights during a fall is better than getting your skin torn open, taking a whip by grabbing a teammate's belt is often easier than grabbing her hips, and wearing high socks can make those kicks to the shin less painful.
Although everyone has her own style, and theirs wouldn't work for me, I'm envious of how good some girls look all the time. My favorites are Babe E. Quakes, Therapissed, Lucy Ferocious, eRacer X, Grim Gracey, and 9 Lb Hammer. I'm a huge fan of tutus, belts, and matching booty shorts with tights, when other people are wearing them.
Although I'm never going to be completely coordinated or strive for ultimate cuteness, I have a history of "dressing derby" even before I'd ever heard of roller derby. These pictures are from my second marathon - I had observed that runners who stood out from the crowd got a lot more cheers, and since none of my family could be there to cheer me on, I was appealing to the crowd with my cloud-pattern tights. (Kind of like derby!)
During the summers, I amused my volleyball team by wearing random outfits to our games. My favorite is the bathing-suit-top/my-brother's-gigantic-shorts combo.
I can't say that my derby outfits or my previous sports' outfits made me feel any more tough, feminine, or empowered, but I thought they were funny!
So, rollergirls, what's your style and why? How does it make you feel? (There's an English teacher statement.)
Fans, what's your favorite style?
Friday, April 2, 2010
Women who hate other women
There are a lot of myths about modern-day roller derby: it's staged, there's punching, only women with questionable morals play, it's not that athletic, it's mainly about wearing fishnets, and on and on.
Then there are a lot of half-truths about modern-day roller derby.
When Cho Cold (who was then just Carrie) asked if I'd be interested in playing roller derby, I had never heard of it. I had never heard the words roller and derby together, and I had no reference point even after she explained the basics of the game.
So then I read everything I could about it on news sites, forums, team websites, and absorbed as much information as I could from the girls from Tragic City Rollers, who helped us so much in getting started.
In many ways, my experience has been like that of others, but in other ways, I just cannot understand why people so often glibly repeat what I consider to be a half-truth about the sport we all love so much:
For today: "Roller derby is a sport for women who hate other women."
I've heard that statement countless times from girls who play and others who are involved in roller derby in some way. That has not been my experience at all. To me, it seems that roller derby is a sport for women who often very much would like to form close bonds with other women but, for various reasons, may not have as adults.
When I was growing up, I often goaded my friends into doing daring and foolish things. Most of my close girlfriends were not thrilled about jumping out of trees onto dirty, rocky slopes or riding double on a bike on a steep and windy patch of pavement or hitting each other with thistles. (But some of them were.) Equally, I wasn't thrilled about trying on makeup or going shopping or doing other things that are generally the domain of little girls. But we were still close.
In college, I was lucky enough to meet a girl who will always, always hold a precious piece of my heart. And we were certainly unlike most of the girls around us - "demolition derby" sledding, climbing things, rollerblading constantly, and later routinely tackling each other on the rugby field - instead of wholeheartedly embracing the more common college pastimes of tanning, dressing up to go to the gym, and whatever else it is college girls do. (I'm not putting those things down - it's just different interests.)
And since then, I've wanted so badly to meet other girls like me - not women who hate other women - but women who want to meet people with their interests who are not male. Roller derby is that place.
I'd say roller derby is a sport for women who love to push themselves and their friends to do things that are slightly reckless and who want to just be themselves in one aspect of their lives. Roller derby is a sport for women who want the freedom of acting in a way that is sometimes seen as unfeminine (hitting people, being sweaty, playing a serious sport as an adult) while sharing those experiences with other women who understand that need for freedom.
Roller derby is a sport for women who may dearly love their "more traditional" female friends but also sometimes need friendships with people who understand their reckless, intense, not-always-logical sides.
Then there are a lot of half-truths about modern-day roller derby.
When Cho Cold (who was then just Carrie) asked if I'd be interested in playing roller derby, I had never heard of it. I had never heard the words roller and derby together, and I had no reference point even after she explained the basics of the game.
So then I read everything I could about it on news sites, forums, team websites, and absorbed as much information as I could from the girls from Tragic City Rollers, who helped us so much in getting started.
In many ways, my experience has been like that of others, but in other ways, I just cannot understand why people so often glibly repeat what I consider to be a half-truth about the sport we all love so much:
- "When you're on the track, you're a different person. Roller derby lets you be someone else; you need that persona to get out there and do what you have to do."
- "Roller derby is a sport for women who hate other women."
- "Of course there's going to be drama - what do you expect when you have a bunch of women hanging out together."
- "Roller derby is more about being tough than having strategy."
- "Roller derby is the sport for the counter-culture."
For today: "Roller derby is a sport for women who hate other women."
I've heard that statement countless times from girls who play and others who are involved in roller derby in some way. That has not been my experience at all. To me, it seems that roller derby is a sport for women who often very much would like to form close bonds with other women but, for various reasons, may not have as adults.
When I was growing up, I often goaded my friends into doing daring and foolish things. Most of my close girlfriends were not thrilled about jumping out of trees onto dirty, rocky slopes or riding double on a bike on a steep and windy patch of pavement or hitting each other with thistles. (But some of them were.) Equally, I wasn't thrilled about trying on makeup or going shopping or doing other things that are generally the domain of little girls. But we were still close.
In college, I was lucky enough to meet a girl who will always, always hold a precious piece of my heart. And we were certainly unlike most of the girls around us - "demolition derby" sledding, climbing things, rollerblading constantly, and later routinely tackling each other on the rugby field - instead of wholeheartedly embracing the more common college pastimes of tanning, dressing up to go to the gym, and whatever else it is college girls do. (I'm not putting those things down - it's just different interests.)
And since then, I've wanted so badly to meet other girls like me - not women who hate other women - but women who want to meet people with their interests who are not male. Roller derby is that place.
I'd say roller derby is a sport for women who love to push themselves and their friends to do things that are slightly reckless and who want to just be themselves in one aspect of their lives. Roller derby is a sport for women who want the freedom of acting in a way that is sometimes seen as unfeminine (hitting people, being sweaty, playing a serious sport as an adult) while sharing those experiences with other women who understand that need for freedom.
Roller derby is a sport for women who may dearly love their "more traditional" female friends but also sometimes need friendships with people who understand their reckless, intense, not-always-logical sides.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)