What I'm going to do

We were leaving Matt's preschool after dropping him off, and I said, "Sammy, what am I going to do next year when Matt's at kindergarten and you're at preschool and it's just me and Ben at home?" Sam immediately replied, "Potty training! Potty training for Ben!"

Ben's nap notes

Well, the time has come for no more nursing or holding to sleep for Ben's naps. He's been taking the occasional decent nap but mostly naps only 5 to 25 minutes long. And that's not good for him.

Today:
7:00 a.m. - awake for day
9:22 a.m. - in crib, standing, cruising, making screechy noises
9:35 a.m. - asleep
10:48 a.m. - awake and happy

1:37 p.m. - in crib, standing, sitting, crawling, making happy noises
1:43 p.m. - standing and crying
1:48 p.m. - sitting and crying harder
1:50 p.m. - lying down and crying hard
1:53 p.m. - asleep
2:11 p.m. - awake

December 15
6:30 a.m. - awake for day
9:18 a.m. - in crib, crying
9:33 a.m. - asleep
10:18 a.m. - awake and crying

1:09 p.m. - in crib, standing, cruising, making happy noises
1:11 p.m. - lying down, making sleepy noises
1:13 p.m. - asleep
2:31 p.m. - awake and happy

December 16
7 a.m. - awake for day
9:13 a.m. - in crib, crying
9:20 a.m. - asleep
10:20 a.m. - awake and happy

1:13 p.m. - in crib, rolling, standing, fussing
1:19 p.m. - standing and crying hard
1:20 p.m. - lying down, sitting, lying down, sitting, fussing
1:24 p.m. - asleep
3:00 p.m. - had to wake him up!

December 17
9:19 a.m. - in crib, lying down, quiet
9:21 a.m. - standing and crying/fussing
9:23 a.m. - lying down and fussing
9:25 a.m. - asleep
10:28 a.m. - awake and happy

1:14 p.m. - in crib, lying down, quiet
1:22 p.m. - loud fussing
1:24 p.m. - asleep

Barns

Sam: "What barn for, Matt?"
Matt: "A barn is like a house, except there's nothing to do in it except lay around and sleep. The animals just walk in it and go to sleep, or if there's bad weather they can go in it. Also, farmers can keep their tools in there and just go in and get what they need. Sometimes tractors are in barns but not usually."

What Sam's been saying

We were playing outside waiting for Jeff to get home. When we saw his car, Sam asked me, "Sam wipe Sam's face on Dad's car?" I said, "Ask Dad when he gets here." When Jeff got out of the car, Sam asked him, "Wipe Sam's face on your car?" Then Sam giggled uncontrollably for many minutes. That's the essence of a toddler.

This morning, Sam was turning pages in a very long book. Each page, he said, "Ding dong, ding dong." He explained, "All these pages ding dong. Not this page. All the pages ding dong but not this page right here." Who knows.

Learning to sleep journal, attempt #2

Notes

Sunday, November 15

9:41- crying; rocking on hands and knees 

9:47- hard crying

9:51- crying

9:55- hard crying with 10-second gaps and some normal crying

10:01 quiet and in sleeping position 

10:06 crying on and off

10:13 quiet and in sleeping position

10:18 outburst of crying and then quiet; still on stomach 

10:19 sleeping
Fuss noises at 11:58. No waking.
Fed at 1:45.

Changed pee diaper at 3:40. Tried to feed but didn't.

Fed at 5:50.

Monday, November 16
Slight crying from 9:43-9:47 and at 11:25.
Fed at 12:25.
Fed at 4:10.
Fed at 6.

Tuesday, November 17

8:28- light fussing

8:30- not-too-bad crying on and off

8:33- quiet

9:48- some fussing for one minute

10:19- crying

10:29- hard crying

10:39-10:44- Jeff went in and changed slightly wet diaper

10:51- quiet for 30 seconds a couple of times in past 30 minutes but mostly hard crying 

10:53- sleeping
Fed at 12:30.
Fed at 6:10.

Wednesday, November 18
11:38 - light crying for 5 minutes
3:25 - fed
6:25 - fed and awake for day

Thursday, November 19
8:25 two minutes of crying
10:40 four to five minutes of fussing
2:35 fed
4:15 changed messy diaper and fed

Friday, November 20
10:18 light crying for a few minutes
10:40 hard crying for four minutes
Fed at 1 and 4:55

Honesty is not the best policy

It was unusually quiet, so I asked, "Hey, what are you guys doing?" Matt said, "I'm just in the playroom driving trucks around." Sam said, "I'm just putting my finger in my nose."

Learning to sleep journal

Here are our notes on Ben's process of learning to fall asleep on his own.

October 12

7:40 in bed

7:45 hard crying

7:53 Jeff put hand on Ben's chest; Ben was silent the entire time

7:55 Jeff left room and Ben started crying and rolling

7:57 quiet, on stomach

8:01 one 5-second fuss after noise in kitchen

8:02 short fuss

8:06 crying

8:08 stopped crying

8:12 crying

8:14 very hard crying

8:17 on stomach in sleeping position, ratcheted it down to normal crying/fussing

8:19 stopped crying completely, still in sleeping position on stomach

8:20 fusses

8:21 sleeping!
1:25 a.m. - fed, seemed very hungry
5:10 a.m. - fed, seemed pretty hungry

October 13

7:48 in bed

7:50 fusses

7:51 crying

7:53 hard crying, then quiet; sleeping!
10:30 p.m. - cry for 6 minutes
11:55 p.m. - fed
2:30 a.m. - short cry then kept sleeping
4:15 a.m. - fed, messy diaper

October 14
7:45 in crib
7:50 crying
7:51 stopped crying
7:52 sleeping!
11:30 p.m. - fed (too early?). Seemed hungry.
3:10 p.m. - kicking legs and making noises, not crying. Fed, seemed hungry. I was in a sleep daze and should have waited to see if he'd fall back asleep. Hopefully that won't be bad for tomorrow.

October 15
Napped at odd times.
7:01 in crib
7:03 mild crying/fussing
7:07 fussing
7:10 sleeping!
8:25 p.m. - fed (wouldn't really eat before bed)
10:07-10:12 p.m. - very bad crying with abrupt silences. Back to sleep.
12 a.m. - fed
2 a.m. - messy diaper
2:40 a.m. - fed, seemed hungry
5:15 - fed, seemed hungry

October 16
7:10 in crib
7:14 asleep
9:40 p.m. - fed (wouldn't really eat before bed)
12:15 a.m. - fed, not really hungry, messy diaper
2:30 a.m. - fed, not really hungry
3:30 - mild crying for 1-2 minutes then back to sleep
5:20 - fed, hungry

Naming the colors of the rainbow

One of the stories in our nighttime devotion book mentions rainbows and asks, "Can you name the colors of the rainbow?" Sam takes that challenge literally. He's named some of the colors "graymo, nain, and mower." And then he and Matt giggle uncontrollably for ages.

I have a brick from college that Maria and I painted with our shared middle name (Irene) holding open our upstairs bathroom door. When Sam's using his potty right next to it every night, he points to each letter and names it: "Grandpa! Donna! Grandpa! Grandma! Matt!"

Ben's cool trick

Ben's been doing this cool trick where he has something in his hands and then puts it between his feet. He waves it around with his feet and looks at it for a while then transfers it back to his hands. Seems pretty coordinated for being a baby.

A note on plates (or: conforming to societal norms sucks)

So we have these plates, these middle-of-the-line plates that we registered for and received for our wedding. They are sturdy, they look okay, they have a weight to them that makes them seem expensive, and they make us seem like grownups since grownups have matching, pretty-decent-and-nice-looking plates.

And I kind of hate them.

The first problem is, we have them in different colors. We also have a couple wildlife-themed plates from Yellowstone and a couple of kid plates. And we have a kid who wants to choose his specific dishes and silverware for every single meal and snack, even if food has been put on another plate already. His preferences aren't the problem; the problem is talking about plates and cups and silverware and what his choice for the moment is - it takes up a lot of my time and it's a pointless, repetitive topic that just - doesn't - matter and oh my goodness just pick a plate already! Now! Right now! I've got stuff to do, kids to feed, babies to soothe, lots of things happening every time it's time to eat.

And the thing is - I don't even like these plates! I don't like them at all! I wanted a set of cheap Corelle in some cute pattern that would already be dated by the time we got them out of the box. I perused all the Corelle patterns endlessly while working on the wedding registry, but no. People said, "Oh, get the nicer dishes now. Get the ones you'd like to have but wouldn't like to pay for, that's what your registry is for." So I was like, "Okay, okay. That makes sense. The dishes I want aren't fancy anyway, and let's branch out a little bit here. We will probably be glad to have these heavier, 'nicer' dishes later." I know what I like, though, and that's not it.

It's just a minor irritation that doesn't matter, but it's been scratching at me for however long it is that Jeff and I have been married. Made worse by children and their particularities.

These plates and the fact that we have them is the kind of thing that is doubly annoying in that I know what I want, I know what I like, and sometimes when I just try to go along with others' suggestions even though it doesn't particularly matter if I do or not, it turns out to be a bad idea.

Like, why the heck did I wear makeup for my wedding day? Because that's what people do. I don't wear makeup. Ever. The last time I wore makeup was on my wedding, for sure. I didn't want to, really. I did because that's what's expected, and my friends mentioned it a lot, and it seemed like no big deal to just go with it.

...until mascara got in my eye. Which sucked. It hurt and then I just had to wash off all the makeup anyway. So why bother with it in the first place, when I already know it's not something I like? I don't know. Tiny irritations. I want a redo on the plates and the makeup.

Really, I just want to put stuff on the table and not have to talk about which plates, which cups, which forks, which spoons each person has and which ones they want...because it's all the same cheap Corelle pattern.

"You're Gonna Miss This"

When Matt was a baby, I listened to Trace Adkins' song "You're Going to Miss This" quite a bit to cheer myself up and remember to enjoy the good moments and soak in all the cozy preciousness of having hours upon hours to luxuriate in the bliss that is a new baby. Because it was hard. It was really hard, being completely responsible for a whole new person's entire health, happiness, and well-being. I didn't love breastfeeding. I didn't love how I was so isolated, with no real friends, with nothing to DO, really, other than hang out with Matt when he was awake and obsess about his sleeping and eating patterns and try to get my editing work done when he was asleep. So I would let Trace Adkins tell me: "You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around. You may not know it now,
but you're gonna miss this."

I was determined not to miss it. I have many fond memories of baby Matt, walking to Kroger with him in the stroller to do a little shopping, going to crafts at church and actually being able to talk to the other ladies, watching Matt learn to roll and then realize he could propel himself around the house, walking around outside near the trees and seeing how Matt was fascinated by looking at the leaves.

But it was hard. It was really hard. It was frustrating when Matt started sleeping poorly and we didn't know why (hello, 4-month regression!), and I was so sleep deprived all I could think about was abandoning Jeff and Matt so I could go somewhere and just SLEEP. It was boring. It was really, really boring a lot of the time. I've come to realize that I'm just not really a "baby person." It's not my forte. I like babies and I intentionally pause to appreciate aspects of babyhood, but I also just get bored with them. Trace was wrong; I already don't want those days back. I don't miss it. They didn't go by fast. It felt like Matt was a baby for years. (Now Sam's babyhood, that lasted about five minutes, I think.)

I've fiercely loved parts of every stage of Matt's, Sam's, and Ben's lives so far. But I'm getting pretty tired of being told how much I'll miss them being little. There will always be things I'll feel pleasantly nostalgic for, but it feels like there are double the things that I definitely will not miss at all, not even a little bit.

It's just like high school. People say how it's so exciting, it's going to be the best four years of your life, it's going to be so fun, there will be so many activities to do and friends to meet, and on and on. Sure, I liked high school. Now that I'm pretty far past it, it's easy to remember the good parts and forget all the negatives, unless I'm trying to call to mind specifics; then the not-so-good parts come flooding back. It's just like college. People say how it's so exciting, it's going to be the best four (or five! Ha ha!) years of your life...and on and on.

Then, of course, all the hoopla around getting married - the best day of your life! Um, no. It was nice. I love Jeff more than anyone, and I love being married, but I almost never think about our wedding day. It was just a day, a joyful, celebratory day on which I was excited to see so many of my friends, honestly, a day that marked only the very beginning of a lifetime of days that I get to spend with Jeff. But I don't want it back. I don't miss it. I want this lifetime of days to keep accumulating.

I guess this sentiment about how parents, moms especially, should enjoy every moment of their kids' childhoods feels like too much like "just wait." It's a positive spin on "just wait," but it feels silly and threatening just the same. You know, "Just wait! Just wait until you're married. Then you'll have all those newlywed fights." "Just wait until you have kids. Then you'll see why people let their kids watch tv all day (or eat junk food, or never sleep again)." "Just wait." Ugh.

Anyway. Back on track. I know I'll never be so loved and needed as I am now. I know I will miss very, very many things about these days: the way Matt and Sam are best friends almost every minute, the way Sammer Hammer is so cheerful and engaging, the way Matt knows so many facts and is so excited to learn more about everything, the obsession with construction vehicles, the way Ben is such a sweet and cuddly baby and content almost all the time, the opportunities to play out in our yard, the self-contained nature of staying home with the kids and not needing to be a bunch of different places, the random and uncontrollable outbursts of little kids giggling.

But it's still hard. It's hard to even get out of bed in the morning when I've gotten up 2-5 times in the night with Ben (and sometimes Sam). It's hard to appreciate these days in their entirety when I can't even sit down for some cereal in the morning without twenty requests for different things. It's too much to ask for me to appreciate how much these kids all need me at the exact same time some days, or when I'm too hot (which is the thing that makes me most short-tempered and miserable) and I have to carry both Sam and Ben up or down the stairs at the same time while Matt talks nonstop at me and wants me to actually come up with answers for something. The boredom is difficult. I don't need a lot of interaction with grownups, but I do need more silence and more solitude; that is very hard to come by. I'd like more time to go running or biking. Some days I just feel like I'm slogging through the hours, pacing the floor yet again to try to get Ben to nap instead of cry, sweeping the kitchen floor for the third time, washing the second load of laundry for the day, changing the tenth diaper, reading the hundredth book about trucks.

And then there are people blogging or Facebooking about how I (general "I" here - moms in general) should be enjoying every moment. Or how they are enjoying every moment. I find it too simplistic and not precise enough. I want to appreciate the good moments and forget the difficult ones. And then not ever tell someone to enjoy the stage of life they are in, because I don't know, I can never really know, what another person's life is like, and the admonition to just enjoy it is obnoxious.

For example, here is a post I saw one day, written by a person I don't know: "I cried because I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss the asparagus, rice, and carrots that fell from [younger kid's] high chair and mixed into the toys on the floor. I'm going to miss constantly making sure [older kid] didn't leave any little toys around that [younger kid] could choke on. I'm going to miss the yogurt fingerprints all over the couch, and the Cheerios under every piece of furniture." That is crazy! Maybe she's actually going to miss those things - who am I to say? But I think probably not. I appreciate the sentiment, of course, but some of that is just plain crazy talk - missing food mixed with toys on the floor? I'd rather that not happen so I can spend time with my kids instead of time making sure the kitchen won't be overtaken by ants. Missing making sure your baby's not going to choke on tiny toys? Eek. Not fun. Missing yogurt and Cheerios all over the place? No! (See: rather be with kids than picking up junk.) Crazy! There are so many good things to miss, why miss all the small frustrations and the endless cleaning? 

The other thing that really gets me is when a mom, particularly a new mom, asks for advice on how to, say, get her baby to sleep longer than an hour at a stretch in any place other than the new mom's exhausted arms. Instead of helpful tips, usually a bunch of moms chime in to say how fast the days go by, how soon the new mom will be wishing her toddler were still a baby who would allow her to rock him or her to sleep, how short this precious window of babyhood is. That is not helpful! That does not help a mom feel more rested or make productive changes to help her baby sleep better. Maybe sometimes it could help a mom appreciate the moment a little bit, but I would guess that instead it just makes her feel bad for wanting to put that baby down and rest or do something that makes her feel like a regular grownup for a little while, like eat a hot meal or take a long shower or go for a walk without a stroller. And on top of that, feel bad that she's not constantly basking in the perfectness of new motherhood and the exquisiteness of her perfect baby.

(If you are a mom who feels that way about babies and is unfazed by sleep deprivation, great! Or if you were a mom who just loved every single moment of pregnancy, great! But not everyone has that experience. It just doesn't translate for all of us.)

"You're gonna miss this." Yes, I will miss a lot of this. I will miss so many things about having babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

"You're gonna want this back." No. No, I'm not. I like it, I like these days and these stages, but this breakneck speed of life, the marathon I complete every day having a baby, toddler, and preschooler in the house, it's too much to sustain. I'm barely living it this time around. I'm not going to want this back. For sure.

"You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast." Eh, up in the air. The weeks are fast. The days each seem a million hours long. And the nights usually just feel like another day. I'm still waiting for some good nights, like the kind where I can get some decent sleep and feel rested when it's over.

"These are some good times, so take a good look around." Yes. Okay. I'll do that. I try to do that very frequently.

"You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this." No. Nope. I'm enjoying the good parts (obviously not the constant messes and the choking-hazard moments), but I'm looking forward to everything else coming up.

Funny Sammer Hammer

The scene: The other day, at 4 p.m.
Me: "Okay, Sam, time to change your diaper."
Sam: "Dad already changed Nam's diaper."
Me: "Oh yeah?"
Sam: "Dad changed Nam's diaper. Dad go to work!"

And Jeff had gone to work 8 hours earlier.


The scene: Jeff, Matt, and Sam were playing in the playroom.
Matt, looking for a toy: "Where's the hammer?"
Sam, pointing to himself: "Right here!"

Little-kid games

Here are some of the things that go on in this house all the time.

Sam says, "Car coming down the road. Wait in the grass! Sam coming down the road. Wait in the grass! Kangaroo coming down the road. Wait in the grass!" Etc. This is from when we were in Vermont.

"Impact hammer! Impact hammer!" There's a series of YouTube videos called Twenty Trucks about trucks and machines that have catchy, informational songs. Impact hammer is a big hit around here. Sam especially likes to bang things on the floor or poke things hard with his finger and shout "Impact hammer!" He likes to switch it up and say "Impact Sammer!" or "Impact Dadder!" or "Impact Mommer!" Etc.

Sam likes to pretend to be a kangaroo. He doesn't jump around, though. He just walks around on his knees and says, "Kangaroo! Kangaroo!"

Foud time. This is when Matt's pretend cat goes to a restaurant by itself to try new foods. It's usually at 7:30 p.m. because his cat likes to spend time with its family during the day and just have foud time when everyone is going to sleep. No clue where he came up with this.

Matt has a pretend cat and mouse that do all kinds of things. They live in a nearby town. They watch Matt's babies when Matt is at his construction job. They help Matt with things. Matt plays with them when he is at his house (also in a nearby town). His cat is 14 years old.

Kratts buildings. Matt likes to build Kratts buildings. These are pet-supply stores. He's been building them all over the place for many months. Not sure where he got the name for them.

Ben loves when I say "fuzzy puzzles" to him. He laughs really hard. I've tried similar things, like "fizzy puzzles," "fuzzy pieces," "busy puzzles," etc, but only "fuzzy puzzles" is hilarious. He also likes when people say "bless you," when people make loud fake sneezing sounds, and when Sam puts his face very close to him (he thinks it's okay when Matt puts his face really close but definitely smiles bigger at Sam for some reason).

Matt teaches Sam things

Matt and Sam were both in the bathroom, so Matt took the opportunity to teach him about toilets: "It goes down to bigger and bigger and bigger pipes and then it goes to a water retreatment. For your potty it's just done."

This morning Sam was working on counting, walking around talking to himself: "1, 2, 3, 7, 8."
Matt said, "That's not how counting goes, Sam. It's '1, 2, 3, 4, taquito, 5, 6, 7, 8.' Can you say 1, 2, 3, 4, taquito, 5, 6, 7, 8?" Oh, brothers. 

Reading plans

I'm SO tired of truck books. I asked Matt if he was just going to read about trucks for his whole life, or if he would sometime check out books about animals or princesses or rockets or something else. He said the whole time he's a kid, he'll check out truck books. I asked if he still would when he was an adult. He said no, he'll read scary stories then. He'll read "about ibexes and wolves and stuff like that."

Ben's sleep saga notes

(Hopefully this will be more accurately titled "Ben's sleep notes," not needing the "saga" part.)

Ben was a really good sleeper as a newborn. Then when we got back from Vermont he abruptly got all crazy with sleeping, waking up a lot at night and not napping well at all, completely rejecting the Rock N Play for a week.

The step we are taking this week to help him fall asleep on his own and hopefully not wake up so much at night is for me to not nurse him to sleep at night, with at least 20 minutes between milk and sleeping.

Last night there was a lot of crying. Jeff rocked him in the Rock N Play and held him, then I held him for a little bit. Then I rocked him to sleep in the RNP. He fell asleep around 8:05, woke up at 11:50, 3, and 6 to eat, then got up for the day around 8:30.

Tonight Jeff rocked him in the Rock N Play. Then he cried a little bit. Then I talked to him and held him, tried to put him in the RNP for a minute or two. Ben was really fighting his sleepsack, grabbing it and trying to chew on it, so I put him in the crib to distract him. He rolled onto his side, fought with his sleepsack a little, then went to sleep when I was out of the room, at 8:15. (Night wake-ups were at 11:20, 1:20, 4:30, and 7:15. Not great. Plus Sam woke up a couple times.)

August 12:
Fed at 7 p.m.
Put in crib at 7:20. Too much sleepsack chewing and fussing. Put in RNP at 7:30. Sleeping by 7:35. Woke up at 1 a.m.! YAY! Then at 4 and 6:20. A very good night. Awake for the day at 8:20.

August 13:
Fed at 7 p.m.
Put in RNP at 7:25. Too much sleepsack chewing and kicking. Put in crib at 7:40. Sleeping by 7:45. Woke up at 11 p.m., 3:45 a.m., and 6:45 a.m. Another good night!

August 14:
Rough day full of short naps. Fed at 6:20 p.m. Sleeping in RNP at around 7. Woke up at 8 and 10 p.m. to eat. I heard Ben snuffling around at 1 a.m. When I went in to check on him, he was asleep on his stomach. Around 2, I rolled him over because he was making weird noises. He woke up at 2:20 and 5:45 to eat. Slept until 7:15. Not bad, but not great. I'm glad he could keep himself asleep even though he rolled over.

August 15:
Another bad nap day. Fed at 7:40. Asleep in crib at 8:20. Woke up at 10:30, 1, and 4:45. Awake for the day at 7:30. Not so great.

August 16:
Fed at 7 p.m. Rocked to sleep in the RNP. Slept until 5 a.m.! I was very alarmed, and for good reason, it turned out. Ben was out of sorts all day today, doing a lot of crying and not wanting to eat.

August 17:
Fed at 7:30 p.m. Rocked in RNP, asleep by 7:30. Woke up at 10 p.m. and 4 a.m. Awake for the day at 7:15.

August 18:
Fed at 7 p.m. Rocked in RNP, asleep by 8. I woke Ben up to feed him at 10:45 since he hadn't been eating well at all for the past two days. Then he woke up at 3 a.m., so I tried to feed him. Instead, he cried loudly like he's been doing during the days and refused to eat. I put him back. He cried a little bit later, maybe 10 minutes later, so I tried to feed him again. He kind of ate for one or two minutes. Then he seemed to want to just smile at me, so I put him back in his crib. He went to sleep after rolling around for about 20 minutes and slept until 7...when he again refused to eat.

The nights have definitely improved now that we're putting Ben down at least 20 minutes after I feed him, but I am totally confused about his eating habits in general now. We'll see how this week goes.

August 19:
Kind of fed at 7. Asleep on own in crib at 7:45. Very hungry at 11:35 p.m. Kind of hungry at 4:30 a.m. but not really. Awake for the day at 7:35 but not hungry until 8:45 a.m.

August 20:
Fed at 7. Almost asleep on own at 7:40 in crib. Then lots of hard crying, and I ended up holding Ben until he was all the way asleep at 8. So frustrating. He woke up at 9:30, 12:15, and 6:35 to eat. Weird again.

Sam's shopping list

I was about to leave for Walmart to get some groceries, and I said to Sam, "Bye. I'm going to Walmart now. Do you need anything?" He whispered, "Fruit snacks."

Done. Can't resist that kind of cuteness.

Too much talking

"Sometimes I have too much talking and my brain gets mixed up and I forget what I'm thinking of. Sometimes I just am talking too much." - Matt

Amen. Sometimes he just is talking too much.

"Sam should noun"

Sam's favorite phrase right now is "Sam should try it," or "Matt should try it," etc. One day he said, "Sam should try it. Sam should seat belt." Matt thought it was hilarious. I said that was silly because seat belt is a noun, not a verb. So Matt thought it was extra hilarious to ask if something was a noun or a verb. Then he went on and on like this:

"Sam should seat belt!"
"Sam should truck!"
"Sam should table!"
"Sam should chair!"

Eventually he got tired of thinking of things and just said, "Sam should noun!"

Kid conversations

Kid conversations make no sense. But they are pretty funny!

Matt: Sam, you know what?
Sam: Yeah!
Matt: What?
Sam: Milk!
Matt: No, that's not what I was going to say. You know what?
Sam: Front-end loader!
Matt: No, too small to be a front-end loader.
Sam: Front-end loader!
Matt: Too small to be a front-end loader.
Sam: Front-end loader!
Matt: Maybe a skid steer. Too small to be a front-end loader. That's not what I was going to say. You know what, Sam?
Sam: Yeah! Yeah!

Me: Huh?

Smartypants Sammy

Sam, or Sammy as he likes to call himself, has decided he likes to real cry, shout, fake cry, and real cry some more before going to sleep half the time lately. Today after lunch I was going over the plan with him. The plan is, "Sam, when you're in your crib, you need to lie down, close your eyes, suck your thumb if you want, and just relax until naptime is done." I told him the plan then asked him to say it back. I said, "Okay, what are you going to do after I get you ready for nap?" Sam said enthusiastically, "Stand up. Cry, cry, cry, cry, cry!"

Sibling squabbles

It's begun. And it will never end. It's funny and SO not funny at the same time, Matt and Sam squabbling. Some examples:

Sam: "Matt! Matt! Matt!"
Matt: "Mom, I don't want Sam saying my name! Sam, stop saying 'Matt! Matt! Matt!'"
Sam: "Matt! Matt! Matt!"
Matt: "I don't want you saying my name anymore. Mom, I don't want Sam saying my name."


Sam: silence
Matt: "I don't want Sam looking at me. Tell him not to look at me anymore."
Sam: "Look. At. Me."
Matt: "Sam, stop saying what I'm saying."
Sam: "I'm. Saying."


We were at Costco yesterday, and Matt and Sam had to sit in the cart while I was getting my glasses adjusted. They were facing the TVs. Matt started pretending to choose TVs to put in his cart. So Sam started pretending to choose TVs to hand to Matt. Matt got really upset and tried to get Sam - and then get me to make Sam - stop handing him imaginary TVs.

Oh, Sam

The other day, I was sitting on the couch when Sam snuck up behind me and pulled on the waistband of my shorts and looked in. He shouted, "Poop?" Apparently he think since I do that to him, he needs to do it back. Once again - oh, the glamour.

His other new thing is narration. This is usually adorable, except if Matt is crying: "Matt cry! Matt cry! Matt cry!" Matt doesn't appreciate it.

Talk, talk, talk

Matt and Sam are both talk, talk, talking nowadays. Thankfully, they sometimes talk to each other instead of me. Matt's been hilarious lately. Sam will repeat anything we ask him to say. He also tells some pretty funny jokes, of the toddler variety.

Scene: Jeff and I were hugging on a Saturday morning.
Matt: "Why are you guys hugging?"
Me: "Why not? We like to hug."
Matt, suspiciously: "Are you going to work, Dad? Are you?"


Scene: Me, crying hysterically for sleep-deprivation + kids bickering reasons
Matt: "What is your face doing right now? Why is your face doing that?"


Scene: Matt and I were casually chatting about family members.
Me: "You could be a grandpa someday, too, you know."
Matt: "No, I couldn't."
Me: "Yeah, if you have kids someday and they have kids, then you'll be a grandpa."
Matt: "No, I won't."
Me: "Well, you never know."
Matt: "I'm not going to be a dad; I'm going to be a construction worker."

Overheard

Overheard at our house today:

Matt: "Sam, you should try the tiny potty today."
Sam: "No!"
Matt: "Sam, you should try the tiny potty. For real. I know you have to go number two. You haven't even gone yet today."

Quotes of the day

Matt: "It's 3:51! Time to set down Ben, Dad, and play with me!"



Every day after nap...
Sam: "Eat!"
Mom: "What do you want to eat?"
Sam: "Sandwich!"

Sam: "Eat!"
Mom: "What do you want to eat?"
Sam: "Goldfish!" or "Crackers!" or "Strawberries!"

Last little while of our nice routine

We're in a good routine right now with Matt and Sam. I plan to look back fondly on it when we're in the middle of crazy-newborn days again. It pretty much goes like this.

6:40-7:15: Sam wakes up. I get him. Sometimes Jeff does.
7:15: Matt pops out of his room when his clock turns green and says, "Good morning!" in a cute voice at a reasonable volume.
7:15-8:15: Kids eat breakfast, Matt gets changed, I do things in the kitchen like unload the dishwasher. Matt talks nonstop. Sam sometimes tries to talk a little bit. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, we take Matt to preschool.
8:45-11:30: Then Sam and I run errands or hang out or go to playgroup, usually without too much chatting so I can save up all my listening patience for Matt's nonstop chatter. Sam is silent on the way to preschool then starts immediately babbling when Matt is out of the car. He's always excited to see school buses and "big trucks!"
11:30: On preschool days, we pick up Matt. 
8-11: On other days, from breakfast to lunch, we usually play in the playroom and read books and eat snacks. These guys have been playing well near each other. They take turns playing with the parking garage or the play kitchen or the trucks. There have been some squabbles the past two months or so, but not too many. Matt usually keeps his "little blue truck" and his "favorite cat" close by no matter what he's playing with. He often declares that "Sam can have a turn playing with [whatever thing] now!" It's funny because he thinks he's being so generous - and he is, for a three-year-old - but he doesn't realize that he's not in charge of Sam or the toys in general. Sam doesn't mind. He usually doesn't care about whatever Matt's playing with anyway.
11-12: On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I try to make a point of watching Price is Right. I'm not super into it, but it's a pretty reliable way for me to sit on the couch and rest without having kids climb on me or ask me to play things or get snacks or drinks. Matt likes to "practice his trick," which is climbing on top of the Cozy Coupes and then onto the couch. Sam likes to sit in the Cozy Coupes and say "Close!" so I put a pillow in front of the window. They think it's hilarious.
12-1: Lunch. This is always the hardest part of the day. It seems like I'm hungry and exhausted no matter how the morning has been or how much I've snacked. These guys sometimes eat so much and sometimes eat almost nothing.

That's our half-day routine, anyway. Sam is awake now, so I guess I'll actually do the daily things now and possibly write about the rest later.

What Sam loves

I was about to put Sam in his crib for the night, when we had this conversation.

Me: "Goodnight, Sam, I love you. You can say, 'I love you, too, Mom,' if you want."
Sam: "Love Mom."
Me: "I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night."
Sam: "Love Dad! Matt! Dad! Matt!"
Me: "You love Dad and Matt, too?"
Sam: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Dad! Matt! Milk!"
Me: "You love Dad and Matt and milk?"
Sam: "Yeah! Dad! Matt! DeeDee! Grandma! Mom! Love. Sam."

Awwww.

Funny quotes

Me, reading a book title to Sam: "'Where Do Kisses Come From?'"
Sam: "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

_______


Matt: "What is this on my arms?"
Me: "Looks like arm hair."
Matt: "No, no, no, it's not! I'm growing fuzz all over my arms so bees won't sting me!"

_______


Matt: "Can we open my window at night, Mom?"
Me: "Sure, when it's warmer out. Why?"
Matt: "I just really like to hear the trucks on the interstate. Those trucks make that noise that makes me go to sleep way faster. That's why I like this house better than our old house."

"Good job, Sam!"

After Sam's post-lunch potty success, Matt kept telling him, "Good job, Sam! Good job!" So Sam congratulated himself all the way until naptime, saying, "Good job, Nam!" and patting himself on the chest. So cute.

Sammy

Sam has recently started calling himself by name, pronouncing Sam like "Nam." This morning, though, insisted that he should be called Sammy. He kept poking himself hard in the chest while shouting, "Nammy! Nammy!" Matt and I kept calling him Sam like usual throughout breakfast, which made him say, "No! No! Nammy!"

Well, Sammy it is. Or probably not.

Misheard

Last week, Matt, Sam, and I met Jeff for lunch. When we were getting ready to go home, Jeff buckled the kids in the car while I was walking across the parking lot. He said, "You're huge!" No, wait - he actually said (or so he claims), "Nice shoes!" but what I heard was "You're huge!"

Enthusiastic potty trainer

We've started kind of potty training Sam... and Matt is SO excited. Sam will pee in the potty when he needs to; he doesn't indicate when he needs to go but gives it a good try when we have him sit down. After lunch when Matt goes upstairs to use the bathroom, he runs to get Sam's tiny potty, carries it up with him, and tells Sam to follow him because it's time to go to the bathroom. Then they sit there in our small bathroom and laugh hysterically about different things; Matt tells me, "Matt and Sam need some privacy. We will tell you when we need your help." I just sit in the hall and listen to them. It goes like this, with lots and lots of giggling.

Matt: "No, Sam, don't eat those fish from the shower curtain!"
Sam: "Fish!"
Matt: "You actually CAN eat those fish! I cooked them up the other day!"
Matt: "No! You can't eat the bath mat! That's silly!"

Every messy diaper I avoid with this method is great. Yay for Matt wanting Sam to be potty trained. Ha ha.

Good questions

Matt had a lot of gas the other day. He started singing loudly, which is not unusual. Then he asked me a series of very serious questions:

"Why am I tooting so loudly?"
"Why am I singing so loudly?"
"What if I sing SO LOUD that you can't hear me toot?"
"What if I toot SO LOUD that you can't hear me sing?"

...long pause...

"Would you rather hear me tooting or singing?"

Silly Sam

When we're reading books, Sam pretends to grab food off the pages and eat it. Sometimes he grabs other stuff, like animals, so I say, "Yuck! You can't eat a cat! Spit it out!" Then he giggles and pretends to spit. He's pretty good at pretending in general already, though sometimes he's confused when Matt hands him imaginary things.

Sam was full of good jokes in the car today after we dropped Matt off at preschool. Usually he says "Dad work" when he wakes up in the morning. Then he says "Matt school" after we drop Matt off. Today when we were driving away, he kept saying, "Matt work! Dad school!" Giggle, giggle, giggle. "Matt work! Dad school!" Giggle giggle giggle.

One day I was baking something and asked Matt and Sam if they wanted to peek in the oven. They did, so I turned the light on and they looked in through the glass. Now, whenever something's in the oven, Sam rushes over, gestures wildly at the light button until I press it, and pushes aside the hand towels so he can say "Boo! Boo!" through the glass.

Sam's other thing right now is doing actions, like all the hand motions to "Wheels on the Bus" and the action rhymes in High Five magazine. It's fun.

Tired

When Matt was a baby, Jeff and I joked all the time about how people warned we would be tired for the rest of our lives, because we just weren't that tired. Well, joke's on me now. I feel so tired I can't even imagine what it would be like to not be tired.

I'm sure it's just the whole third-trimester-of-growing-new-person thing combined with carrying a 25-pound toddler around much of the day, up and down stairs, while cooking, while leaning, etc, combined with the nonstop chatter of a very, very chatty and energetic preschooler. Also, sleeping is tough and not very restful.

Sometimes I'm desperate for a break from the physical labor of raising small children, but I don't want to miss anything! Maybe this will be my favorite phase of children in spite of it feeling sometimes like a heavy burden (literally). We'll see.

I'm also very jealous when I see people running in the cold weather early in the morning. I used to do that. I used to love that. It was a good challenge and invigorating. But I can't imagine how long it will be until that opportunity is there for me again, if I even still like running. Who knows? The years are already flying by. Matt will be FOUR this summer. FOUR. I've got a minimum of another year of taking care of a baby, and it feels like taking care of a baby is a life totally separate from any other type of life. I don't want a break from it. Just some short timeouts every once in a while.

Miniature card shark

Jeff, Matt, and I have been playing Go Fish. Jeff's been trying to explain to Matt how you know if someone has a particular card. For example: Jeff asks me for a 9. I don't have one. Then it's Matt's turn. He should know Jeff has a 9 since he just asked for one. This is how it went, though, on Matt's turn.

Matt: "Dad, do you have a 9?"
Jeff: "Yep. How did you know?"
Matt: "I saw it when you picked it up from the pile."

We just about fell out of our chairs laughing, and the miniature card shark totally missed the joke.

Girls can't eat gluten

Matt always makes sure that the pretend food he gives me is gluten-free, since he knows I can't have things with gluten. But today it became apparent that he thinks I can't have gluten since I'm a girl. (Makes sense since all the guys in this family can.) We were feeding pretend ducks some pretend bread, and he said, "That bread doesn't have gluten in it...because some of those ducks are girls!"

eMeals at preschool

Today Matt told me that he cooked a whole bunch of food for Addison at preschool. He said he had a whole list of eMeals to look through, and what popped up that sounded good was spaghetti and a hot dog bun. She ate a bunch of it. Then Matt ate some. Then he was still hungry, so he made a hamburger bun with mustard on it. Then he kept cooking and cooking for Addy, and she kept eating and eating. She didn't cook anything for him; he just did all the cooking for both of them. He was very excited about all of this.

Google doesn't have all the answers

Matt: "How many days did you go to school, Mom?"
Me: "I don't know."
Matt: "Yes, please, Mom look on the computer."
Me, laughing: "It doesn't really work that way."
Matt: "Yes, please, then, Mom, look on the iPad."

Sam at Kroger

Sam has recently figured out how to say "yeah" and "no" in the correct contexts. It's funny. The other day he was at Kroger with me, and the checkout lady decided to strike up conversation with him.

Lady: "Do you like shopping with your mom?"
Sam: "Yeah."
Lady: "Do you like sitting in the cart?"
Sam: "No!"
Lady: "Do you like to help put stuff in the cart?"
Sam: "Yeah!"
Lady: "Can I keep you here? You're so adorable. Do you want to stay here with me?"
Sam: "No! No!"
Lady: "Oh, are you ready to go home?"
Sam: "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Go!"

Chatty Sammy

Sam is a talker! Ack! No, really, it's adorable, but the most exhausting thing for me about being a parent is the constant talk-talk-talking that Matt does. Matt's started to talk to Sam, though, so maybe Sam will talk more to him later on.

My favorite things right now are conversations that go like this.
Matt: "Do you think Sam can say cow?"
Me: "I don't know. Ask him."
Matt: "Sam, can you say cow?"
Sam: "Cow."
Matt: "Yep! He can! He just said it!"

Matt: "Do you think Sam can say sheep?"
Me: "I don't know. Ask him."
Matt: "Sam, can you say sheep?"
Sam: "Eep."
Matt: "Yep! He can! Sam, can you say truck?"

Etc. Endlessly.

Counting versus logic

Today I told Matt that I'd be ready to help him by the time he counted to thirty.
Matt: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 24, 26, 30!"
Me: "That's not right! It doesn't go '20, 24, 26, 30.'"
Matt: "I already know that. I wanted you to help me faster so I skipped some to make it faster."

Kid is too smart.

"Tell Dad that."

Matt likes to say things throughout the day and then say, "Tell Dad that when Dad gets home from work." Today was particularly interesting. Here are a few:

1. Matt saw two deer outside. He thought they were dogs at first.
2. The tv said "Mom!" It was funny.
3. If you (Mom) don't know how to play Jelly Jump, Matt will teach you how. He's good at teaching people how to play games that he's good at playing.
4. Sam played with paperclips. Dad had a lot of trouble using paperclips at our old house. They were really tough for him.
5. Matt wants to take down Christmas cards and put them in Rosie but Dad keeps forgetting to look at them first. Maybe he can remember today if we ask him.
6. He's wondering if Dad's wearing his new green sweater today, but he doesn't think Dad is. He thinks he's wearing zero sweaters.
7. It's really funny when the thermometer says zero because zero means none. There's no temperature outside.