Some conversations about hair

Me: I'm thinking about getting my hair cut short again. It kind of seems straggly.
Jeff: What about putting it in a ponytail?
Me: I try that, but the ends are still all, like, straggly. It doesn't fall right.
Jeff: What if you got the front part cut shorter... and maybe the back is still longer?
Me: Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. "Party in the front, business..."
Jeff: Not what I was getting at, but that would work, too.


Me: I'm sure glad that Matthew's past that stage where he sucks on my hair every time I'm holding him. It was kind of gross always having a wet patch on the side.
Jeff: Yeah, now you're not like that weird girl in fifth grade who always sucked on her hair.
Me: Hey! I was that weird girl!
Jeff: It's okay. I used to suck on my arm hair.
Me: WHAT? Really?
Jeff: No.