People have started asking me if I'm "so excited to be having a baby!" I'm afraid that at this point I just can't muster up the appropriate level of enthusiasm to make my answer––"Oh, yes. We're very excited"––sound convincing.
Don't be fooled, I AM very excited. But if I don't sound excited, remember how my face gives everything away. Here's my real answer:
Ask yourself how much excitement you could muster after feeling sick for weeks on end. On the days you're puking, you wish you weren't. On the days you aren't puking, you wish you would, imagining (falsely) that it would somehow make you feel less sick afterward. And imagine that every night you wake up for no apparent reason and are unable to fall asleep again until hours later. And then when you drag yourself out of bed in the morning, imagine that a small, loud, demanding person insists that he absolutely needs to climb on you while you're half awake and eating breakfast. Then that same person insists on playing lots of fun, endless, exhausting games all day long that require 100% participation. And when you have time for yourself, you need to wash dishes, wash laundry, do some work for the paying job you'd really like to keep for many years... Or you decide to take a shower, which inexplicably this time around sometimes also makes you puke. Then you collapse into bed at the end of the day and start all over again.
So I've decided to save my excitement about this new baby for later, when I can appreciate it more.
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